Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Just Yesterday

Tomorrow is your birthday.  But just yesterday I could hear your voice, smell your hair, touch your skin.  It's been five years, but the pain still runs deep. So very, very deep.  

They say the pain changes with time.  It hasn't. But I have.  My coping skills are stronger.  I am stronger. I like to think I'm a better person with more compassion, more awareness of the world outside my own.  

But the pain runs deep.  So very, very deep. And the tears still fall, and I need to retreat from time to time to The Wailing Tent where I'm among sisters.  I suppose I always will.  

But most days the sun shines bright, and I am grateful.  Today is not one of those days, though.  I want to tell you happy birthday, but the words just won't come.  I know I'm a few hours early anyway, so maybe the words will come tomorrow.

It feels like yesterday that I could hear your voice, smell your hair, and touch your skin.  I wish it were yesterday.   

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