They say the pain changes with time. It hasn't. But I have. My coping skills are stronger. I am stronger. I like to think I'm a better person with more compassion, more awareness of the world outside my own.
But the pain runs deep. So very, very deep. And the tears still fall, and I need to retreat from time to time to The Wailing Tent where I'm among sisters. I suppose I always will.
But most days the sun shines bright, and I am grateful. Today is not one of those days, though. I want to tell you happy birthday, but the words just won't come. I know I'm a few hours early anyway, so maybe the words will come tomorrow.
It feels like yesterday that I could hear your voice, smell your hair, and touch your skin. I wish it were yesterday.